Cognitive Dissonance
by Luna Maria Boulevardes
Summary: Equalist!Korra AU. "I've never left the compound, Mako - but Amon says if I do a good job as your guard, he'll finally let me see the outside," Korra said. I swallowed hard. Jinora and Bolin were looking for me; I had to escape before they walked right into the Equalists' headquarters. So what was it about this missing Avatar, Korra - my captor - that made me want to stay?
1. Chapter 1

**Cognitive Dissonance  
****By Luna Maria Boulevardes**

* * *

Chapter One

"The Fireferrets are _officially _the most badass pro-benders in Republic City!" Bolin shouted, pumping his arms into the air. I rolled my eyes as Hasook laughed, following my teammates into the bar. They were cheering and high-fiving each other, earning looks of amusement from the other patrons of Narook's. Bolin winked at a couple of girls while Hasook grabbed a shot right off the bar, throwing it back. The bartender laughed, caught up in the good spirits.

"Free drinks all night for our boys!" he cried, grabbing Bolin and Hasook's arms and holding them up. "Mako too! Hell, free drinks for life for anyone who gets Mako drunk enough to stop scowling!" he added. The crowd tittered and in a corner the band began tuning up, clearly ecstatic at having such an audience.

"Hear that, Mako! Hey, let's make a deal – you stop scowling for me and then we can essentially _both_ get free drinks for the rest of our lives!" Bolin suggested, bouncing up and down excitedly. I put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to hold still.

"Bo, we can't," I said slowly shaking my head. "We have to keep our heads, now more so than ever."

"I guess," he muttered unhappily. "I just – I don't know." He glanced longingly back at Hasook, who was already chatting up some short brunette waitress. Guilt crashed over me as I tried to decide between being mad at my brother for not realizing how much work I put into keeping us afloat, and feeling guilty that despite all my work I still couldn't give him everything he wanted.

"Hey, we can stay a little while. We just can't go crazy," I relented. His face lit up brighter than any fire I could create.

"Yes! Hear, that Pabu?" He turned around to tell Hasook the good news, either ignoring or failing to notice his condescending smirk. I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes. We really needed a new waterbender.

"Dude, your brother is making his All-Fun-is-Evil look," Hasook informed Bolin. He reluctantly disentangled himself from the waitresses, allowing one of them to lead us to a table. She giggled the entire time and kept looking over her shoulder to squeal at her friends. Great. Hopefully she wouldn't prove too much of a distraction. I had learned early on in the season that while I could exercise some modicum of control over my brother's dating, the same could not be done with Hasook.

"I don't think fun is evil," I said, smiling tightly at the Giggly Waitress as she handed out our menus. "I just think that we can't get distracted. Sure, we beat the Wolfbats tonight, but we're still a long way from winning the tournament. We're not even officially in the tournament yet," I pointed out. "We still have to raise the money. And then we have to worry about extra training, not to mention I don't know how well our uniforms are holding up." I would have to take a look tomorrow. Maybe I was lucky I could talk to Toza about what tournament-standard was. Even if we couldn't get any for ourselves, it would be good to know what we were going to be up against.

"Bro, lighten up," Bolin ordered, kicking my shin. "We'll hold a bake sale or something. Pema and Tenzin will probably help us," he added, sharing a nod with Hasook. I rubbed my shin angrily.

"_This is not the time to be inflicting potential injuries – "_

"Mako, you're _fine."_ Hasook growled. Then he broke into a charming smile for his waitress as she returned to take our orders. Oh, spirits, this was going to be a long night. Bolin put his hand on my shoulder as Hasook began ordering drinks I didn't recognize the names of.

"Come on, nothing bad will come of just one night of fun," my brother begged, clasping his hands together and looking up at me with his best I'll-Never-Ask-for-Anything-Again-if-You-Let-Me-Do-This look. Bullshit, of course. My resolve was absolutely not wavering in response. Not even a little bit.

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing. Bolin cringed. "Mako-sighs are never a good sign," he informed Pabu gravely. "But you and I both know that even Mako can be wrong sometimes." He shot me a triumphant look.

"Are you ever going to forgive me for that?" I asked. When Bolin first brought Pabu home, I tried to slit his throat so I could make dinner from him. My brother was absolutely horrified for reasons that I still didn't quite understand. What had he thought we were going to do with it? Keeping it alive seemed like such a waste of meat.

"No, I will not forgive you," he replied easily. "If not for Pabu, we never would have met Lin, and she never would have asked Tenzin and Pema to take us in," he said smugly.

"We met Lin because she was arresting us. For illegally keeping a pet in our apartment," I pointed out. Someone placed bowls of noodles in front of us. Hasook made an excuse about going to the bathroom but I could tell from the look on Giggly Waitress's face that he was not exactly telling us the truth.

"Yeah, yeah," Bolin said dismissively, digging into his noodle. He slurped loudly, spraying sauce all over his face. I had to fight the urge to wipe his face for him. Even after living with Tenzin and Pema for five years, I still couldn't shake the feeling that it was all temporary and we would be back on the streets tomorrow.

"I just don't want anything to endanger what we have. We've worked so hard to get here, Bo, I don't want to lose it over something stupid like getting distracted." I took a bite of the noodles, gagging quietly and pushed them away. I'd have to eat slowly if I hoped to choke it all down.

"I know, but all I'm saying is you could try to have a little fun tonight. You're out with friends! There are drunk women everywhere you look! And we might even have enough status now for one of them to pay attention to us!" Bolin exclaimed. "Even you get to have a break once in a while, you know." He poked my chest with his chopsticks and grinned, flashing me the same smile that made half the waitresses swoon. I wavered, pushing my noodles around my bowl. Could one night really do that much damage? It wasn't like we hadn't earned it – I had the scars to prove so.

_Mako, this is a bad idea_, warned a voice in the back of my head as Hasook returned with Giggly Waitress and New-Acquired Girl. Giggly Waitresses had a tray of multi-colored drinks in her hand and wore a slightly predatory look, one that insisted Hasook would be going home with _her_ tonight.

"You guys saying or going?" Hasook asked as he returned to the table. Giggly Waitress began putting drinks in front of us, green eyes curious. I looked down at the translucent green liquid, and across the table to my brother's hopeful face.

_Mako, you'll regret this_, the voice continued, louder now. I hesitantly picked the drink up.

"Nah, we're in," I replied. I threw back the shot, Hasook's clapping and Bolin's cheers ringing in my ears.

* * *

I stumbled off the dance floor, finally losing the nice but clingy fangirl I'd been dancing with. Catching the edge of the bar, I forced myself to hold still in an attempt to make the room stop spinning and dropping out from under my feet. The lights of noise of the bar roared in my ears, almost louder than the arena. The bartender handed me two glasses, looking sympathetic.

"The sugar in the mango juice is good for you, and so's the water," he said. "Just drink them, kid, you'll thank me tomorrow." He gave me a sad sort of smile before moving away to attend to the other customers. I picked up the mango juice and chugged it down, grimacing at the awful nausea that bloomed in my stomach. _Definitely time to go home now_.

"Hasook, have you seen my brother?" I called, catching him just as he was leaving. Giggly Waitress was on his arm, grinning like she'd just won something. Hasook gave me a look, throwing a glance at her.

"I'm sure you can find him on your own, Mako," he said with forced evenness. Before I could respond he was out the door, flipping his hair like he was Tahno. Well then. Definitely needed a new waterbender now; fucking Hasook.

"Bolin?" I called, surveying the dance floor. I couldn't see him there, and he didn't seem to be at the bar either. Sighing, I began to walk (well, stumble might have been the more appropriate term, but that's beside the point) to the bathrooms. Bolin's tolerance really wasn't that good yet, but he had a bad habit of trying match Hasook drink-for-drink. Opening the bathroom door, I was instantly hit with the smell of vomit and sound of retching. Fuck. I knew that retching; Bolin was sick again.

"Bo?" I asked softly, knowing on one of the stall doors. He groaned then unlocked the door, looking up at me miserably.

"Why do you always hafta be right?" he slurred before puking again. I put one hand on his upper back, rubbing circles like I had since we were little kids. He always relaxed when I did that; I had never told him it was because Mom used to do that for us.

"Don't worry about it," I murmured. "Just get it all out and then we'll go home. I bet Pema or the Air Acolytes have something to make you feel better," I said. He nodded and coughed, but nothing came up. Either he was feeling better, or he had finally exhausted the available food supply.

"D'ya have any water?" he asked. I shook my head and helped him up, guiding my brother to the sinks. He made a face when he caught a glance of himself in the mirror, muttering something about "not even the great Bolin looks pretty while puking".

"Just wash your mouth out while I try to clean up a bit," I instructed. He turned on the water and obediently cupped his hands to his lips. I took a deep breath and returned to the stall, flushing down the sick and trying my best to clean up with a few scraps of toilet paper. Just as I finished a couple burst through the doors, making out viciously. I narrowly avoided a collision and grabbed my brother's arm, dragging him back into the bar.

"Are we gonna dance more?" Bolin asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Right. That would go well, as long as the girl liked Eau de Vomit.

"No, we're going home." I nodded at the bouncer on the way out, falling into the cool autumn night.

"I'm never drinking again. Ever," my brother declared, clutching his stomach. I gingerly placed a hand on his upper back, resuming the circles from earlier.

"You're going to be fine," I murmured as we stumbled into the cool autumn night. He made some kind of noise of protest and tried to sit down. I barely caught him. "Stop. We have to get back to the island." My reflexes weren't holding up as well as they normally did. It was probably the alcohol; damn, now we _really _needed to get back because clearly I was not sober enough to be responsible.

"`M sorry, Ma," he whined, lumbering down the road. "I told you to trust me and then I mess up like this!" He sniffed loudly, a warning sign that he was on the verge of crying. I squeezed him in a half-hug, earning a loud grunt for all my efforts. Ah, family – that's gratitude for you.

"You're fine, don't worry, I still love you," I assured him. "Don't start crying right now, though, okay?" I squeezed his shoulders, looking him in the eye. Bolin nodded wearily and opened his mouth to say something.

He was cut off as bright lights flooded us from all sides, killing our vision. I shoved my brother to the ground and moved into a fighting stance, keeping myself as low as possible. Usually if you could get low enough you could get under the lights and get a little visibility back. If I was lucky, whoever was there would be close enough that I could knock his feet out from under him. Bolin whimpered behind me and I elbowed him in the stomach to make him shut up. This attack didn't seem random; it was way too organized.

I suspected it was the Triads, or more specifically some group of their lackeys. The Triads were in with the Wolfbats and our victory screwed had mostly likely screwed up some plan of theirs. The Triads had hated us for years now, mostly because Bolin and I had been defiant enough to refuse their offers of "help" when we were still on the street. These days, our connections with the police and council afforded enough protection. Or they had up until now, anyway. It was a pretty good scheme; no one was in a position to defend himself at three in the morning when he was drunk off his ass.

"We don't want a fight," I said, squeezing my legs to keep my unsteady balance. The lights weren't doing much to help my balance problems and nausea. Forget being outnumbered; I couldn't win this thing because they had me out-sobered. I took a deep breath, hoping that if I couldn't talk them down, at least they wouldn't go too hard on us.

_I __**told**__ you this was a bad idea_, the voice chided. I bit the inside of my cheek hard, inhaling slowly. This was really not the time.

"He's _drunk_. Are you getting this?" a voice laughed. Male, probably older, and to my right. I shot a stream of flames in his direction, smirking when the lights dimmed and someone howled in pain. Grabbing a handful of rocks, I threw them out and watched as the lights shattered. _Satomobile lights_, I registered distantly.

"Kato – or anyone, _get him_!"

I turned around to see two masked people closing in on me, both wielding glowing sticks and electrical gloves. _Equalists, _I thought, punching out a couple of fire fists. What did they want with us? I ducked the Equalists' attacks and grabbed Bolin, throwing him over my shoulder. We had to get away. There had been rumors recently that the Equalist leader could take your bending away forever, and I had no desire to find out for myself if the rumors were true. Pema and Tenzin or not, Bolin and I really did need that tournament money, and we couldn't compete in pro-bending if we weren't benders. I sped up into a sprint, shooting back flames to slow the following Equalists.

"Bo, earthbend the road up," I ordered. Two of the Equlaits were following on foot while the other two had taken the Satomobiles and were quickly gaining on us. He made a reluctant sound, trying to pull away. "Now, Bolin!" I yelled. He waved his hands, successfully curving the road so driving off it would be a suicide mission. My breaths came a little easier.

"This is just some kind of nightmare," he groaned, into my back. "This isn't happening." I tugged my scarf tighter around my neck, trying to remember the quickest way to the ferry. If Hasook had been there, we could have just used as ice bridge – no, couldn't think about that now. Had to get away – I could think all I wanted to later, after Bolin and I got to safety.

"Get the short one first! Use him! Kato, Sordin, do you hear a word I'm saying?" shouted one of the driving Equalists. He was the only one wielding sticks instead of gloves, and sounded like he was the one in charged. Bolin made an attempt at earthbending while I tried to hit them with another round of fire, but we weren't fast enough this time. One of the chi-blockers had manged to get in front of me, and before I could even register what was happening he began to attack.

"Get him, Kato, I've got the other!"

I felt someone pull Bolin off my back and when I turned around to go after him Kato hit me. He jabbed a series of points in my arms and spine so my knees gave out and I collapsed on the ground.

"Thanks, Sordin," Kato said. Sordin nodded and threw Bolin on the ground. He hit me with a blast of electricity as the other two Equalists finally caught up with him and Kato.

"Good work," the in-charge one said. "Tisa, will you secure our prisoner?" he asked the person with his.

"Got it, Lieutenant." Interesting. This one was a woman. Tisa secured ropes around my hands and feet, pulling them tight so I couldn't punch or kick out.

"Please just leave my brother alone," I begged weakly, staring up at them. Sordin stumbled back, clearly caught off-guard.

"You have to get his mouth too, I heard he can breathe fire!" Kato warned, holding up his glove in preparation. Tisa shoved a gag past my teeth and pulled rope around my head to secure it. It tasted like an old t-shirt and I choked quietly. I couldn't see any of their faces, but I imagined they all looked rather smug under their masks.

"Now what?" Tisa asked, placing her hands on her hips. She looked at her two comrades, expecting an answer but receiving silence.

"We have the firebender. Amon will be very pleased," Lieutenant said. He leered over me, looking me over like I was cow he was considering for purchase. He ran a finger down the side of my face like I wasn't human and he expected to touch something other than skin. I desperately wished I could bite him.

"What about the other boy?" the woman asked, kicking Bolin's side. I struggled against my bonds and they ignored me. "Do we just leave him here?" She seemed conflicted by the idea, as though unable to decide whether it would be more repulsive to leave him to survive or to endure taking him with them. I bit the inside of my cheek hard so I wouldn't cry out. _Don't agitate them, Mako, don't let them know he's important, they'll use him to hurt you_, I reminded myself. The scene swam before me and I remembered the alcohol still burning in my system.

"Amon didn't say anything about him. Just let him go," the Lieutenant instructed. "He'll get his due soon enough. This is the one Amon requested." He pulled my hair, laughing when I squirmed in response.

"I think we should drop him off at City Hall. A little present," Kato suggested gleefully. I held my breath. If they did that, Tenzin would find him and he would be okay. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes and blinked rapidly to keep them there.

"Sure, why not?" Lieutenant said. Kato threw my brother over his shoulder while Sordin did the same with me. They purposefully manhandled us, laughing if we groaned or cried out. Bolin's whimpers agonized me, but at the same time they were a relief. I was afraid he had passed out and would choke on his vomit they way I'd seen men do when we were younger. If he was awake, he was alive, and there was all the better chance Tenzin would find him in time to save him.

The Equalists climbed into the Satomobile, putting me at the bottom of the backseat so I was under their shoes. Kato passed Bolin off to another team that was passing through, giving them strict instructions about tying him up and leaving him for the council. They nodded and took off, truck leaving dust and exhaust in its wake.

"What does Amon even want with the firebender?" Kato asked, hopping in the front seat next to Lieutenant.

"It's a present, apparently." The Lieutenant said it like it gave his physical pain to do so. "Don't know what for," he sulked. I could hear the jealousy coloring his voice and closed my eyes, trying to commit the fact to memory. I would need every advantage if I wanted to escape. Up front, Kato clapped Lieutenant's shoulder.

"Who among is rational when it comes to these things?" he laughed. Tisa kicked the back of his chair, cackling when her heel caught and gave me a bloody nose.

"Rational about what? What's going on?" she asked. Her voice had a certain whine to it and I decided she had to be much younger than I'd originally thought. She must be the newest member; I could hear her insecurity, her concern that everyone was leaving her out. _Vulnerability two_. Next to her, Sordin made a sound of disbelief.

"Tisa, how do you not know?" he questioned, sounding genuinely surprised. She sputtered angrily, hands curling into fists at her sides.

"Well, _Sordin_, if someone would just _tell me_ – "

"The boy is a gift for Amon's lover," the Lietenant sighed, as if growing bored with this conversation.

Wait. Lover?

"Who's his lover?" Tisa asked. Kato laughed meanly.

"The girl Korra. Do you even try to pay attention?" he sneered. Sordin smacked his shoulder.

"She's new, give her a break," he said. Tisa squirmed uncomfortably.

"I thought Amon _raised_ Korra," she said in a small voice. "Is there more than one woman named Korra? Because that can't be right." She said it more like she wanted to believe it than that she really did.

"He did raise her," Sordin sighed. "But they've been lovers for, what, three years now? Almost four?" he speculated.

"Three. She was fourteen then, she's seventeen now," Kato informed them. Tisa made a gagging noise.

"You're telling me that at the age of thirty-seven he decided to deflower the fourteen year-old girl he'd raised?" she balked. "That's – that's kind of sick. Fourteen is so _young_. And after raising her? I don't know," she continued uncertainly.

"Don't bother yourself worrying about it," Kato said dismissively. "Who the hell knows what goes on there? Yeah, it's weird," he added, cutting Tisa off when she tried to interject, "but the Cause is too important to worry about it. So he likes young girls. I've never seen him even _flirt_ with anyone other than Korra. Actually, I've seen him flirt with her even. I only knew because everybody knows." He shrugged his broad shoulders.

"Here's right, Tisa," Lieutenant barked. "Just listen to Amon and keep your mouth shut if you want the Revolution to succeed. I don't _know_ why he's sleeping with young teenage girls, and I don't know why he wants to give her a firebender as a present, but I'm sure he has good reasons," he argued weakly. I shuddered beneath their feet.

I'd never thought Amon was the nicest guy, but this took things to an entirely new level. _Fourteen years old_. I knew what fourteen year-old girls were like; they made up a frighteningly large part of our fanbase. Amon was way too old for such a young girl, not to mention the whole incest angle. Who was this girl, anyway? Why did she agree to be his – lover, was that what they had called her?

I tried to imagine thirteen year-old Ikki marrying General Iroh and shuddered. _And he's only twenty-three_, I thought. It was like if Jinora married Tarrlok. She was sixteen and he had to be what, forty? I couldn't imagine what was going on with this Korra girl. It sounded like some kind of nightmare.

I closed my eyes wearily, wondering if I should try to sleep or if I'd be better off keeping my guard up. _Probably b__etter to save my energy_, I decided. I was still a little drunk, and I didn't know what they meant when they said I was a _present for Korra, _but I suspected it couldn't be anything in my interest. If she was as young as they said she was, I might stand a chance of fighting her off and escaping – if I was focusing.

"One of you consult the map and make sure we're going the right way," Lieutenant barked as I drifted off to sleep. "I'm not taking the blame for you fools if we're late."

In my dreams that night, I didn't see Bolin or our parents. I didn't see Pema or Tenzin, or any of the airbabies. Instead I dreamed of Avatar Aang, bright light glowing from his fingertips when he touched some person's forehead. I dreamed of snow and a woman screaming, her voice echoing everywhere but she herself was nowhere in sight. Finally I dreamed of a girl with big blue eyes who had dark hair and skin, and wore a blue necklace around her throat. She took the carved circle off its blue ribbon and restrung it on a silver chain, letting it fall down deep between her breasts. She pulled on a sweater to hide it then slipped platinum band with a white stone onto the fourth finger of her left hand.

"My sweet girl," a man hissed, coming up from behind her and putting his hands on her shoulders. He bit her neck, making her flinch but not run. Her gaze remained focused on the ring, watching as the diamond flashed and shone in the light. Her right hand clutched her necklace through the fabric of her shirt, and when she looked up my whole body went cold. Her lover was pulling her hair from her ponytails, but her expression spoke only of great sadness. Like she was lost and haunted at the same time, her left hand left twitching in the air as she reached for something she knew she needed but could not see and did not know how to find.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**TRAGEDY IN REPUBLIC CITY:**

_Citizens of Republic City, today we are waking up in a new and terrible world. Councilman Tenzin's adopted son __**Mako**__ was kidnapped by Equalists last night; at press, the police were unable to get us any information on the case. The incident occurred at about two this morning outside of Narook's Seaweed Noodlery. Mako, Captain of the Fireferrets (firebender), and his teammates were celebrating. Earlier that night, they had claimed victory over the Wolfbats, thereby sealing their spot in the upcoming pro-bending tournament. _

_In the wake of the attack Councilman Tarrlok is motioning for increased security measures in public spaces and has also proposed a new law giving non-benders a curfew. We were unable to reach Councilman Tenzin or any of his representatives for comment, but when prompted Chief Beifong replied that they were doing "as well as can be expected". The Chief assures us that she and her elite team of metalbenders will be doing everything in their power to recover the councilman's son safe and alive. Given Councilman Tenzin's involvement, we here at the __Republic City Times__ have absolute faith that Chief Beifong meant every word she said_.

I sighed and put the newspaper down, knocking my tea over in the process. Pema caught the cup before anything spilled and gave me a sympathetic smile as she handed it back to me. I tried to return it but my face wouldn't listen to my brain. It was like the first winter Mako and I were on our own. We went to the park after the first snow, giddy at the idea of doing something vaguely normal for once. I skittered onto the ice without thinking, or rather thinking only of the earlier times when our mother had twirled us around, dancing on her silver-bladed skates. Mako called my name, something I don't remember but he insists is true.

I remember slipping through the ice; at first, I was only surprised. Then I realized how dark it was. Usually Mako left a light on for me, but here there was nothing. It was the purest kind of blackness, black like the sun turned off in the sky. The water rushed over me and I couldn't breath, just make small choking noises. My clothes weighed me down, pulling me farther and farther from the surface. It honestly wouldn't have made much of a difference even if I'd been wearing something more practical. I wasn't a strong swimming back then, and I definitely wasn't strong enough to break the ice from the other side.

The water was cold. It was the worst kind of cold, a cold that makes you feel like you'll never be warm again. You lose even your memories of being warm, overwhelmed by the pulsating hits of ice. The water doesn't care if you live or die, it just watches like Koh is trying to steal its face. I don't really know what happened after that, except that I somehow woke up in a hospital with Mako curled around me. I knew he'd been crying, but we never mentioned it.

That was what it felt like right now – like I would never be warm again.

"Bolin, how are you feeling?" Tenzin asked, bustling through the doors. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were rumpled. He probably hadn't slept in more than a day between worrying about Mako and I, and attempting to talk the Council into taking _reasonable_ action instead of lashing out Tarrlok-fashion.

"I'm doing better. Breakfast was lovely, Pema, thank you," I said, bowing my head to her. She waved me off.

"You needed it after the night you had." She came around the table and pulled me into a hug, burying her nose in my nose. Pema smelled like daisies and baby powder, with a hint of Tenzin's aftershave lingering on her skin like perfume does on clothes. She pressed her lips to my forehead, tightening her grip as though she could pull me into herself, make us one and in doing so keep the rest of the world out. "My poor boys," she muttered, finally drawing back. She gave Tenzin a sad smile and he caught her wrist, pulling her close so he could wipe the tears off her face. This only made more come.

"Pema," he whispered desperately. She shook her head.

"No, you have things to do, I'll be fine." She gave him a quick kiss and practically ran out of the room, her skirts rustling softly. Tenzin sat down across the table from me, and I poured him a cup of tea. "Thank you."

"No problem."

He picked up his cup, but didn't drink. After a few minutes he seemed to give up on the idea and set it back down on its saucer. Tenzin took a deep breath, making my throat seize. Tenzin's deep breaths meant _Something Bad Has Happened and I Am Trying to Break the News Gently_.

Mako – no. Mako couldn't be dead. The bad news was just that they hadn't found him yet. Or he had a broken leg. It really didn't matter, just as long as he wasn't –

"Lin would like to take your official statement this afternoon if you're feeling up to it," Tenzin said slowly. "We're hoping it will give us somewhere to start searching for – well, to start searching," he fumbled. "I know it will be difficult, and you don't have to if you're not ready – "

"Of course I'll do it," I interjected. "He's always looked out for me, I really owe him a little payback." A memory flitted across my mind, almost too quick to glimpse. I caught the main gist. I saw Mako doing some kind of stupid dance, even deigning to include Pabu in an effort to distract me from some nightmare. It had to be after we moved in with Pema and Tenzin; I could see the Air Gates through one of the windows. Clearly, Mako could have let someone else take care of me and gone on sleeping; because he was Mako, of course, he didn't.

"Okay," Tenzin breathed. "Let's get going then. We want to get your memories while they're fresh."

"I'm going with you!"

We both turned around to catch sight of Jinora running out into the room. Her hair was in a hap-hazard ponytail, and instead of her usual air acolyte outfit she was wearing black slacks with a grey long-sleeved tunic. The tunic was belted at the waist with a black sash and she had brown canvas messenger bag slung across her body. Tenzin scowled.

"That's hardly necessary," he admonished. Jinora tossed her head defiantly.

"I'm sixteen. Try to stop me," she challenged. Tenzin snorted and his face turned anger red-purple, but he didn't say anything. He stood up and stomped outside, muttering to himself about _teenagers _the whole way. Jinora shot me a look of triumph.

"Let's do this," she said. I squared my shoulders and followed her.

* * *

"Lin," Tenzin said stoically as we approached the Chief's desk. Her green eyes flickered up at him and a flash of pain crossed her face. Lin put down the pile of papers she had been reading, trying to hide a tremor as she did so. I caught sight of a few lines. They said things like _lost their bending forever _and _tortured_, while farther down someone had noted _rumors of an underage lover_. I tried to read further but Lin abruptly slammed the file closed. _Shit._

"You don't want to read that," she said coldly. I flushed and stepped back, trying to ignore all the metalbenders' curious stares. Tenzin shot me a why-can't-you-behave look. I wished I was better at silent communication so I could send him a I'm-not-trying-to-not-behave look. If I tried, it would probably end up saying something like Pabu-requests-a-mango-and-have-you-seen-the-smell-cookies-yesterday?

"Sorry," I muttered, glancing down. Lin shrugged, too tired to even indulge in the opportunity to reprimanded a law-breaking citizen.

"Just follow me back to the interrogation rooms," she muttered. She led us through a series of metal walls, each one slamming threateningly behind us as we passed. Jinora squeezed my shoulder, giving me a sympathetic look.

"You're going to be fine. Lin knows you didn't mean to read those papers, she just feels awkward around Dad because Beifongs are about as good at emotions as Firelords," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Thanks, Jinna." The black metal felt cool and confiding, like suffocating. There was a panicked feeling of _I can't get out_. Maybe Pema had been right when she said I needed to ask Lin to teach me . . .

_Fuck_. How could I think about that at a time like this? My brother was missing and I was thinking about _metalbending_?

"Tenzin, Jinora, you'll have to wait outside," Lin was saying, her voice and body still holding the stiffness she always had around him. "I don't want Bolin distracted."

"Of course," he demurred. "You know that if you need anything I'll be right here," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I swallowed hard, hisses of the evening already slithering over my mind in furls of writhing snakes.

"Same." Jinora wrapped me in a hug, her lithe arms embracing me tightly. I squeezed right back.

"Right. Thanks," I replied. Lin motioned for the doors to part, then closed us in after I sat at the table. She took the opposite chair and opened a notebook.

"I'd like to ask you about what happened to you last night – try to tell me everything you can. You might not think it's relevant, but sometimes we have other information," she told me. I nodded.

"Okay. Otherwise irrelevant details." Like I knew what the relevant details even were. We sat in silence until Lin seemed to be on the verge of losing her patience.

"Start at the beginning," she instructed, eyes blazing. "You left the pro-bending arena, and then what happened?" She looked like what she really wanted to do was slap me or at least go in for a good kick, but we both knew Tenzin wouldn't tolerate that. At others times, that was a joke between us; I almost wished she would hit me just so I could say that.

"Um, we left the arena." I closed my eyes, trying to retrace the path. I heard Mako snorting, and Hasook jeering at him. Light exploded, blending with color as we entered Narook's. It was amazing to think so many pretty girls could be in one place at one time. These girls didn't know who I was, and yet they were still smiling, flipping their hair and giggling behind their hands.

"Bolin?"

"We left the arena and went to Narook's to celebrate. Hasook started ordering drinks pretty early." I could only remember something he called a Panty-Dropper, partly for its Not-Mako-or-Tenzin-Approved name, partly because the hot pink liquid really stood out from all the others when I was puking.

"Okay, so you all were drunk," Lin said, glancing at me for confirmation. My face burned and I felt tears prick at my eyes.

"Yeah, we got drunk," I croaked. I dug my hands into the table, almost surprised when it didn't break under the pressure. "It was stupid. Mako didn't want to, but I convinced him, and then I got sick and he was just trying to take care of me and I was useless when the Equalists attacked – "

"Calm down." Somehow Lin had gotten behind me, and was pressing some pressure point on the back of my neck. My body slowly gave, anxiety slipping from my muscles. "Better?" she asked, eyes narrowed as she watched for any attempts at deception. I nodded my head.

"Much. Thank you," I replied. Lin returned to her seat, once again taking up her pen and notebook. Gripping my thighs, I tried to hold onto her soothing touch while reminding myself that if I wanted to help my brother, this really was the best way for me to do so. Even if it was pretty much the opposite of fun.

"Tell we about what happened when the Equalists attacked," Lin prompted. I closed my eyes, remembering the blurred shouting and sudden cold of Mako dropping me. For a moment, I stopped breathing. _Mako_.

"Okay. I remember – there were four of them," I began, trying to untangle the voices in my mind. It all felt so far away, like it happened to someone else and I was merely the observer. Or maybe it was even beyond that, maybe I had only read about it in a newspaper, confused it all in a dream or nightmare.

"Did anything stand out to you? Injuries? Tattoos? I'm looking for identifying features," Lin elaborated at my confused look.

"They were wearing masks, I didn't see their faces," I confessed, shame making my blood go hot. Lin winced and I saw her free hand curl into a fist. Her jaw is so tight I thought she would shatter her teeth; it reminded me of the old days when she would sometimes babysit us (how Tenzin talked her into such a thing, I will never know and I'm sure I even want to). She used to wear that same look of stoic endurance when we got too rambunctious.

Jinora and Ikki would insistently braid her hair, weaving in multi-colored ribbons and too many barrettes. Meelo meanwhile was always the hyper one, challenging Lin to "Agni Kais" because he hadn't learned yet that Agni Kai only applied to firebending duels. The thing I remembered best, though, was Lin making fruit and custard tarts with us. The badass lady police chief in addition to being a scary-good metalbender was secretly an amazing baker.

Jinora, Ikki, Meelo and I usually lost interest pretty quickly and created more mess than product in the process. Mako being the responsible one would wait for us to clear out before going in to offer Lin some actual help. They worked well together, gracefully reading the other's silence. Mako was always like Jinora in that way; the world was too loud for them.

"One of the Equalists was a woman," I offered, the memory of her higher voice cutting through my mind. "And another they called Lieutenant, so I guess he's high ranking."  
"He's Amon's right-hand man," Lin cut in. She looked troubled, her usual perfect mask slipping. I felt like someone is playing the accordion with my lungs. _No._ "Do you have any idea what they wanted, Bolin? If they sent Lieutenant, obviously Amon thought it was an important mission," she continued.

There were fates worse than death; I had always known that. You couldn't spend your early childhood on the streets _without_ learning that. All this time I had been thinking that the worst thing that could happen was finding my brother dead; now I was worried about finding him insane from torture. What were they doing with him? What did they want? And most of all, why Mako? What made him so special? It couldn't be just about capturing benders, because they saw me bend but didn't take me with them. I – _I didn't understand_.

"I can't think of a reason they would only want Mako," I said, working hard to keep the tremor from my voice. I twisted my fingers into the fabric of my coat to stop their shaking. "If they wanted to hurt Tenzin or to get benders, why not capture me too? Right?"

Lin was wearing a disturbed look. Her hand moved up towards her face and at the last minute she went to scratch her shoulder. I knew from things that Tenzin had let slip that what she was really going to do was start biting her nails, and only stopped herself because I was there. I wanted to tell her that it was okay, that I was scared too, and at the same time I wanted to pretend it didn't happen because if Lin was scared then none of us stood a chance.

"You know that the White Lotus has failed to find the Avatar," Lin mentioned, catching me off guard with the topic switch.

"Um, yeah?" I had no idea where she was going with that. Of course I knew about the Avatar, though. The whole reason Lin had taken an interest in Mako and I in the first place was the fact that we were brothers but we bent different elements. _One of them might be the Avatar_, the White Lotus elders speculated. Tenzin was supposed to teach us airbending and see if either of us actually caught on; this was a spectacular failure, but the decided to keep us anyway.

"There are rumors," Lin said, leaning back in her chair with a distant look. "that Amon has the Avatar. They're saying he kidnapped her at a young age and is keeping her prisoner." Her shoulders tensed with fury, her stormy green eyes threatening to kill anybody who threatened her beloved Uncle Aang. I wondered if Lin would care so much about the Avatar if she knew who it was and had to face up to the person not-being Aang. The Avatars couldn't all be the same, or at least I hadn't thought so.

Then her words sunk in and I realized I was pondering the stupidest aspect of what she had just said.

"Wait – her? Amon? Kidnapping?" I squeaked. All the blood drained from my head and not in a good way. It was more in the the way of I'm-about-to-lose-this-match-aren't-I? Black spots danced before my eyes, threatening to swallow me whole. _Focus, Bolin_. "Okay. Um – what makes you think the Avatar is a girl?" I forced out.

"There were rumors – just rumors, although you give rumors more weight when Aunt Katara is the one spreading them – " She gave a little laugh like she's remembering something good. "Well, when it's Katara you take it more seriously. It was a long time ago now, but Katara reported that she had discovered the new Avatar again; I swear, the woman has some kind of Avatar-instinct if it ever turns out true. She said that it was a young girl in the Southern Water Tribe named Korra, daughter of Senna and Tonraq. When the White Lotus arrived, however, they were told the family had moved with no forwarding address. Some doubt that they ever existed at all." The jaw clenching was back.

"But why do they think Amon took her?" I pressed. "I mean, aren't there lots of people who would want to capture the Avatar? Like the Fire Nation?"

Lin fixed me with a look so cold it was a wonder I didn't drop dead of hypothermia on the spot. Well then. Apparently that had not been the right thing to say. Like at all. Even a little bit.

"The Fire Nation has done quite a bit of work towards reforming their image, I'll have you know, and I will not tolerate your ignorant prejudice," she spat, vicious as a serpent about to strike. I inched my chair back, holding my hands up in the universal no-harm/please-don't-hurt-me sign.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I cried. _Touchy subject,_ I noted. _Do not bring up again_. So _this_ was probably the reason we had never been allowed to discuss the Avatar with the adults.

Jinora, Mako and I had discussed it among ourselves, however. Jinora's theory was that the Avatar was reborn into one of the Water Tribes but died very young, maybe even as a baby. As a result, she reasoned, the Avatar was almost immediately reborn into the Earth Kingdom following Aang's death. No one could find the Avatar because they were searching in the wrong place. Mako disagreed with her. He thought the Avatar was just a late bloomer compared to Aang, pointing out that most of the Avatars didn't present until sixteen – Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, Yangchen. Why did everyone expect to find the Avatar as a baby anyway?

"What if there is no Avatar? What if the cycle really did get broken?" I asked one night. It was autumn; Jinora and I were thirteen and Mako was fifteen. Jinora had blankets piled over her shoulders while Mako nursed a flame to give us some light. It was long past our bedtime, but we had mastered sneaking around Tenzin and Pema long ago.

Jinora was always the best at it. She used her airbending to keep herself off the floor so she never made a single sound. We would meet in my room because Mako said I walked like an earthquake. Which is true, granted, but because he was my brother and because he issued a challenge I worked on sneaking until I mastered it. The moment of ultimate triumph was when I finally managed to sneak up behind Mako. He yelped and cursed while Jinora laughed so hard her abs were sore the next day.

"Why would the Avatar cycle be broken?" Mako asked, absentmindedly making animals with the flames. Jinora bit her lip.

"Azula," she whispered. She glanced around as if afraid that by speaking the name she had called disaster down upon us. I shivered and even Mako looked fairly uncomfortable.

"What are you talking about?" he hissed. "Azula is locked in some jail cell or something. She went crazy." He attempted to cross his arms but couldn't because of the flames. He settled for scowling at us but failed to look very intimidating.

"Azula shot Aang out of the sky when he was in the Avatar State. Katara revived him back with Spirit Water from the Oasis at the North Pole, and he was able to access the Avatar State and elements, so everyone thought everything was okay," Jinora said, dropping her voice from a whisper to a some barely-even-there sound. "Maybe he really died though. Maybe he was the last Avatar."

We were silent, listening to the cold wind howl through the island's trees. Mako and I exchanged looks.

"What happens if there's no Avatar?" I asked, looking between them. Mako and Jinora had always had the answers; surely they knew what no Avatar meant and how it would be fixed.

"The world falls out of balance. There's chaos," Mako said, shrugging in the way he did when he was trying to pretend something wasn't scaring him. Under other circumstances I might have rolled my eyes. This time I did my best to pretend I hadn't seen. "When Aang disappeared, the Fire Nation attacked and nearly wiped out the Air Noamds."

Jinora launched herself at him in a rare display of anger. The flames went out and I scrambled back, too stunned to process what I was seeing. Jinora wrestled him down with surprising ease, gaining the upper hand from his lack of anticipation. She straddled his hips and punched his stomach, making Mako groan softly. She raised her fist to go in for a second one but by this time I'd gotten my senses back. I grabbed her under the arms of pulled her off of him, dragging her across the room as she kicked.

"Calm down," I muttered, holding her waist tightly so her back was pressed against my chest. Mako gingerly sat up as Jinora's anger turned into silent sobs, her ribcage spasming against me. Mako sulked for a few minutes, but he couldn't stand to see her in pain anymore than me. He crawled over to us and hugged her from the other side, letting her cry into his shoulder.

I wanted to tell her it was okay, except the problem was that it wasn't okay at all.

"Anyway." Lin's voice brought me sharply back to the present, memories of Mako and Jinora fading in the dark interrogation room. "Over the years there have been reports of a young girl keeping company with the Equalists, only ever appearing with Amon himself. They say she looks Water Tribe, and that she's the right age. Most recently we've had reason to believe that he's taken the girl on as a lover." Lin failed to hide her disgust and my own stomach did a couple of unhappy somersaults.

"Didn't realize you guys had infiltrated them so well," I muttered. Lin sighed.

"Well, the force hasn't," she grumbled. "But there are others out there who are in a better position to do something." She gave me a sidelong look, eyes roaming my body the way the kids did at school when picking for teams. They chose Mako last for being skinny, and then were sorry they did because he always managed to crush the other team.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," I told her. She nodded, eyes reflecting enduring steel and diamonds.

"I don't know what he wants, exactly, but I wondering if your brother's kidnapping has something to do with this girl," Lin said, dropping her voice. She met my eyes, letting me know she was sharing information she probably shouldn't. I held her gaze right back, telling her that I could be trusted, that I could _do_ this. Mako had done so much for me; it was time I returned the favor.

I tried not to think about whether I could.

"That means he's probably alive, and in decent condition," I ventured. Lin was nodding and scribbling things in her notebook.

"You want to talk to Asami Sato and General Iroh. They're leaders of an Anti-Equalist movement," she whispered. "Asami's father, Hiroshi, is an Equalist. He's in jail right now, but she's managed to infiltrate the movement using his name. She and the General have been instrumental in our own investigations, passing along what they hear. If you want to find out about your brother, they would be the first place to start." She handed me a sheet with addresses and names and I quickly tucked it into a pocket.

"Why can't the force do this?" I asked her. She frowned darkly.

"Lack of money. Not to mention Tarrlok has done everything he can to stunt us," she growled. "He's more interested in intimidation and ambushes than trying to take things down from the inside, the idiot." She slammed a fist against the table, making me jump. "He forgets that the most successful takeover in history was Princess Azula's capture of Ba Sing Se. Which she did by posing as a Kyoshi Warrior." There was a wild, animalistic snarl in her voice and her shoulders went up like hackles. I swallowed hard.

"I'll find them tonight," I promised.

"We will be doing what we can from here." She looked sad and tired; for a minute I wanted to give her a hug. The feeling passed, though, and we rejoined Tenzin outside. He had been pacing nervously and wringing his hands chapped. Jinora was sitting on a bench reading a book, the slight tension in her neck the only evidence that she felt any anxiety. She looked up now, trying to read our faces.

"Well?" Tenzin asked stiffly, eyes darting between us. Lin put a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll be doing everything we can to bring him home safe," she said. Tenzin failed to look comforted but he didn't say anything about it. Jinora kept her gaze trained on me, her head titling to one side as she figured out something was going unsaid.

"Thank you. Bolin, Jinora, let's go." He turned down the hallway, robes billowing like he's a king. My hand fingered the paper in my pants pocket as I whispered the names _Asami Sato General Iroh _over and over again like a chant against death.

"What's the plan, Bo?" Jinora asked, keeping us a few paces behind her father so he wouldn't hear. I hesitated and she elbowed me hard, letting me know she wouldn't stand for that.

"Lin said the police can't do much, but these Anti-Equalist leaders – Iroh and Asami – they can help us," I hissed, watching Tenzin's back anxiously. Jinora nodded.

"I've heard of them," she murmured. "We'll go this afternoon."

"We?" I almost yelled. Tenzin glanced over his shoulder and I flashed him an innocent smile.

"Yes, _we,_" Jinora argued when he turned back around. "Please, I'm hardly going to let you go after the Equalists alone. Besides, they've threatened my family. I'm doing this with or without your permission," she snapped.

"No – I mean, I'm glad to you at my side. I just don't want you to get hurt," I told her. She swallowed hard, one hand reached up to play with her hair.

"This was my fight the moment I was born an airbender," she said softly. "The only difference is now there's a specific mission. We're going to bring our brother home." Her grey eyes blazed with resolve, and all I could think was _definitely Katara's granddaughter_.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The first thing I was aware of when I woke up was water. I froze. Where was I – wait, fuck, was I underwater? No; I couldn't be – or at least it was pretty unlikely since I wasn't having any trouble breathing. Nice going, Mako. Now stop being a dumbass. Get yourself together and _focus._ My captors might be around, and they might let something slip – if they hadn't realized I was awake already. Keeping my eyes closed, I listened, trying to get some sense of my surroundings.

I was tied to a cushioned wooden chair. Thick, heavy ropes encircled my arms, legs and waist. At some point, someone had come in, removed my gloves and shoes, and then encased my hands and feet in glass jugs of water so that I wouldn't be able to firebend. My arms were propped on wide armrests so the jugs didn't tug at my arms. Experimentally, I wiggled my fingers and toes; the sensation was weird, but it didn't seem like anything was wrong. Nothing broken or immobilized. No pain, but I could feel the glass when I reached over to touch it. So no nerve damage either; I could still feel things. Okay. That was good. Not ideal, but bearable.

What was _not _so bearable was the painfully heavy metal muzzle strapped around my jaw. Its weight forced my head to my chest, straining my neck. It covered my mouth and nose, and although strips of leather lined the edges it still chafed painfully. Raw, irritated patches of skin screeched their protest with almost every movement. There was a wet spot somewhere on the right side of my face, and I wondered if I was bleeding. Small slits allowed me to breathe normally, but if I tried to breathe fireI would burn my face off. And probably be laughed at, which was almost worse.

_The security measures means that Amon hasn't taken your bending_, a voice in the back of my mind hissed. I rolled my eyes. Maybe I was supposed to be grateful for that, but seeing I was tied to a chair and being held prisoner I couldn't quite work up the gratitude. Kidnapping is not the best way to make new friends, kids. At this point I was beginning to wonder where my captors were. The room was completely silent; as far as I could tell, I was the only person in the room.

I cautiously opened my eyes. There was no way to tell how much time had passed; the room didn't have any clocks or windows. Probably underground; I'd heard that the Equalists had somehow managed to turn the sewers into their headquarters. If that was true, though, they had certainly done a good job with the place.

The room was small and clean, with burnt orange walls and a smooth rock floor. To my left was a desk and chair set made of glossy dark wood. It smelled very faintly of lemons and oranges. There was a small radio on the desk, as well as a lamp with a beautiful stained-glass lampshade. It had brilliant green and yellow stems and leaves that crescendoed into pale pink tulips. An off-white desk blotter and three black pens were placed in front of the chair.

Across from me was a plain wooden door, distinguished only by its numerous keyholes. To my right was brown velvet couch. It had to be pretty old; I could see patches where the velvet had faltered into cotton. Above it was a poster of Amon. It had the usual slogan scrawled at the bottom_: Equality for All._ Being kidnapped didn't exactly strike me as "Equality for All", but I doubted anyone wanted my opinion.

How long had I been here? How far was home? My family would be panicking. They were probably coordinating with the police, trying to get some kind of search party going. My throat tightened. Everyone was in danger because of me. Fuck, I was a real asshole. If any of them got hurt or worse – no. Can't think about that. They would come to their senses and back off. They had to. Whatever Amon had planned for me, it wasn't worth it. Not even if he planned to kill me. My stomach churned, kicking and squirming like there was a fire ferret trapping it there. Fuck. Okay. Deep breaths. Meditate. Panic will get you nowhere.

I didn't get very far with my meditating. The door flew open with a bang, shuddering against the wall. The hallway outside was made of grey stone, and had small lights lining the ceiling and either side of the floor. Amon stood in the doorway, white mask glinting. I swallowed hard. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and he held himself as though he were a god. He stepped into the room and I could now see that he had three people accompanying him, two men and a woman. One of the men I recognized as the Lieutenant; the other was unfamiliar. They when to the left side of the room, lingering around the desk. The woman closed the door and stood leaning against it.

Spirits, she didn't look even eighteen. What was she doing here? Was Amon recruiting kids now? I stared. She was very petite, short even for a woman. Her shoulders and hips were proportional but narrow. They emphasized just how tiny her defined waist was. The girl had skin the color of autumn leaves, and hair that reminded me of Pema's rich, sweet coffee.

She was watching me, head angled to one side. I didn't like it. Her eyes were too intense. The pale blue color was fierce, evoking ice and sharp topaz rather than the waves of Yue Bay. I finally looked away from her when Amon approached me. He silently stood over me, arms clasped behind his back. His black hood created shadows over his face so the red circle on his forehead stood out even more. A current of tension snapped through the room, everyone waiting for his judgment. Finally, he spoke.

"Excellent work, Lieutenant," Amon purred. The men's shoulders sagged with relief. The girl merely appeared annoyed. Amon circled around the chair, eyeing me like I was a prize up for auction. He stopped at my left side and slipped a finger under the muzzle, testing its hold. The edges cut into my skin and blood trickled down the sides of my face. His fingers were cold and I flinched away, making him laugh. "Now, now, little firebender, calm down," he cooed. His hand returned to his side and he took a seat behind the desk. The two men straightened up, but the girl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, apparently bored.

Who was she? The men were obviously terrified of Amon, or at least very intimidated. Not without reason either; he didn't seem the type to endure subordination. Meanwhile, this girl was almost mocking him and yet he paid her no mind. I turned my head just in time to catch her sneaking another glance at me. Our eyes met and she immediately blushed a stunning red.

"What would you like us to do with the boy?" the Lieutenant asked cautiously. Amon pulled didn't answer right away. He took his time selecting a notebook from a desk drawer, then took even longer scribbling down a series a notes. Sweat dripped down the Lieutenant's neck.

"You will do nothing with him, he is no longer your responsibility," Amon said, not even looking up. "You're dismissed, Comrade. I suggest you go to training." The Lieutenant looked like he wanted to protest, but he then thought better of it. He left footsteps light with tension. Amon watched him go. He made another note before returning to the other two people in the room. "Maror, this prisoner will be your charge. You are to keep him fed, clothed, and so forth," Amon explained. I could see amusement dancing in his eyes when he looked at me. I met his gaze. If he wanted to humiliate me he would have to do better than that.

Grinning now the girl sprang to the front of the desk. She was the only one other than Amon who wasn't wearing the Equalist uniform. Instead, she was dressed in a long-sleeved white top that was too big and black pants that were too long. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders and I could now see that it clearly annoyed her by the way she kept stubbornly tugging it behind her ears. Amon laughed, motioning for Maror to leave. He was relaxed with the girl; she was special, somehow. Could I exploit that?

"That took _forever_," she complained. He hummed his acknowledgment, shutting his notebook.

"Patience never has been your strong point, has it Korra?" he sighed. There was an undercurrent of anger that Korra either didn't notice or chose to ignore because she laughed. "Tell me then, are you happy with your gift?"

Wait – _gift_?

"Yes," she breathed, eyes briefly flickering over to me. She was still grinning as Amon stood up but her lips were tense, muscles taut. This smile was forced. Amon came around the desk and stood in front of her, close enough that their shirts brushed. He drew a finger down the side of her face and she stood very still, breath shallow. Pushing his mask back with one hand, Amon grabbed the back of her neck with the other. Korra squeaked, eyes widening. Smirking, Amon pressed his lips to hers in an aggressive kiss.

It was painful to watch. His hands rested on her neck in a near chokehold, his grip so hard it would surely leave bruises. Korra's eyes were screwed shut, clearly enduring rather than enjoying the kiss. Growling softly, Amon put his hands on her waist and shoved her against the desk. Korra cried out and he quickly caught her mouth again. One hand tangled in her hair and he used the grip to jerk her head back so she was forced to open her mouth for him. The other hand clawed a breast and she was now whimpering and shaking, her own arms still limp at her sides.

When they parted he was smirking, while she was licking her lips in distaste. Four angry teeth marks marred her bottom lip. Pain still flickered over her face and I could tell by his smug posturing that Amon liked it. He moved away but Korra stayed at the desk, bracing herself for another attack.

"Have fun with your new toy then. Maror will return at some point with something for the boy to eat, and perhaps a change of clothes." Amon began to leave, then paused at the door. "And Korra," he added, "remember your responsibilities."

"Of course I will!" she snapped. Amon turned away, shutting the door with a click. Korra didn't move at first. She stared at the door, body quivering. I couldn't tell if she was angry or still shaken up from the kiss. "Stupid ass," she muttered, curling her hands into fists. Then she shook her head and pulled the chair from behind the desk, taking a seat in front of me. She crossed her legs under herself so her whole body fit in the chair. Retrieving a couple of blue ribbons from her pocket, Korra began to put her hair up. I raised an eyebrow and she stuck her tongue out at me.

Oh, real mature.

"Hey, I had to wait for him to leave. He doesn't like it up," she explained, rolling her eyes. She struggled to coax her hair into anything resembling "up", finally settling for a messy trio of ponytails when she got too frustrated to keep working at it. "Are you prisoners always this boring?" Korra complained. Now that she was no longer preoccupied with her hair, apparently I was supposed to be providing the entertainment. Joy. I shook my arms against the ropes, hoping she would remember that oh yeah, _I was tied to the chair_.

Korra instantly sprang up, backflipping off her chair. She landed in a graceful crouch and put her hands up, eyeing me warily. What _was _this place? Did she think I was going to attack her? I was helpless – yet she seemed afraid of me. "None of those bender tricks," Korra warned, slowly beginning to relax again. "I know what you people are like."

Takes one to know one, bitch. This girl was crazy. She returned to her chair and I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back. Maybe I could sleep a little bit more. It wasn't like there was anything else to do anyway –

"Shouldn't you be trying to escape or something?" Korra asked. What? Why was she still _talking_? "Seriously, aren't you going to breathe fire or something?" she continued. I snorted and reluctantly opened my eyes. Yes, Korra, I'm going to breathe fire and burn myself to a crisp. The fun just never ends when you're being imprisoned. "I'm bored."

"_Argh_," I groaned. To my surprise, Korra immediately perked up. Damn it. This could not possibly be good.

"Hey, if I take the muzzle off, will you attack me?" she asked. I blinked and Korra scowled, ducking her head. It seemed like she did that when she was embarrassed; that could be useful. I decided I was not going to think about the fact that even though I couldn't have meet her more than an hour ago, I already could read her. "Yeah, that's probably a dumb question." Korra squinted at me. "Okay. Well, I'm going to take the muzzle off, and if you attack me I'll just tell Amon about it. I mean, I'll attack you myself!"

Now that was interesting. Why had they assigned such a rookie guard to such an important prisoner? I wasn't vain but – well, I was a probender, and I was Tenzin and Pema's . . . Tenzin and Pema's son. There was something wrong with this situation. As much as I liked being alive and unharmed, it was suspicious. Were they waiting on a ransom? Tenzin and Pema didn't really have money.

"Hold still, okay?" Korra's hands were warm and hesitant curling into my hair. "I'm – I'm taking this off. You better not try anything." The muzzle was tied with a series of knots; I could tell by her cursing that they were reasonably complicated. Finally, though, she managed to get it off. I gasped at the fresh air.

"Thanks," I coughed.

"No problem." She set the muzzle on the desk. "You have blood on your face, you know. Was – was that hurting you?" Korra looked like she wasn't sure whether to be more surprised that Amon would hurt me, or that a bender like me was actually human and could feel pain.

"It's not that bad," I muttered.

"You're not looking at yourself." She sat down again, this time deciding to switch things up by flipping the chair around and straddling it. Maybe I could make a game of trying to figure out how long she could sit still. "Maror should be back soon, I think. You're probably hungry."

More like starving, but details, details, details.

"It's fine. It's not like I haven't been hungry before," I told her. Her eyes widened slightly and she frowned.

"That's – that's not true! You're a firebender. They extort people!" Korra shouted.

"That's the problem with you Equalists! You don't know what you're talking about!" I retorted. "I bet you've had everything handed to you your entire life, right?" I continued, throwing her a nasty grin. She opened and closed her mouth several times, eyes so bright they almost burned. "Must be nice to be Amon's favorite."

"Shut up!" She slapped me across the face. It stung, but I was more aware of the warmth. It felt – like a firebender. Was that possible? Korra was sulking now, her arms crossed over her chest like a little kid. A firebender. Another firebender. The possibility was surreal, so unnerving I began to wonder if this whole thing was just a hallucination. A firebender playing favorite to Amon. A _child_. How did this happen?

"Why am I here? I mean – do we know each other?" I sputtered. Korra frowned moodily, taking her time deciding if I deserved a response.

"I know who _you_ are; you're Mako, Captain of the Fire Ferrets and team firebender," she quipped. "I heard you play on the radio." Korra was smiling now, smugly pleased at getting one over me.

"I'm glad you're a fan – you know I can't play in the finals if I'm here," I pointed out. "I could get you seats for a game, if you want." Not really, but she didn't know that. "You could meet my brother." Over my dead body. Korra's face fell and she _harrumphed_. The crossed arms were back again along with the sulky expression. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"I'm not allowed to go outside," she said. Korra played with the hem of her shirt sleeve, refusing to look at me. "That's why you're here. If I can keep you under control, I can go outside." Korra bit her lip and winced. Faint bruises had blossomed from the kiss while we'd been sitting here.

"So you are going to let me go to play in the finals?" And to tell Lin and Tenzin where to find the Equalists? Korra shrugged.

"I don't know," she snapped. "We'll keep you as along as we want, and you have to deal with it!" Korra jumped to her feet and began to pace furiously. Her hands twitched, fingers twisting like she kept losing her grip. She threw a punch at the wall next to me, and that was when it happened.

First, a spark of flame leapt past her fingers, singing the wall. Then the water jugs around my hands and feet burst. The water that had been in them was no longer liquid; instead, it had frozen into sharp icicles. When Korra stomped her foot the earth gave way beneath and a gust of air shuddered through the room.

No. Fucking. Way.

"You're – " I swallowed, unable to finish my sentence. Korra was staring at me in horror, her eyes shining bright as lightening. She clapped a hand over my mouth and shoved me against the wall.

"You will not say _anything_. No one will believe you anyway, you hear?" she snarled. We were standing so close I could feel the heat of her breath on my face. I grabbed her wrists and flipped around, pinning her before she had a chance to catch up. Her lips parted, for once making no sound.

"Before you start making threats, _Korra_," I sneered, enjoying the way she blanched. "Please explain to me what the Avatar, who's been _lost_ for years as far as anyone is concerned, is doing in Republic City as an ally to _Amon_."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Shorter than I wanted it to be, but since it's been a while I wanted to just get _something_ up there. Please read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Morning?

No. I refused. This was _not_ part of the plan, damn it.

Pulling the covers over my head, I attempted to fall back asleep. Sure, there was a whole world out there, but I wanted none of it, especially considering that my world consisted of no more than a few thousand square feet. Ugh. _Boring. _There was seriously nothing to get up for. So even though Amon probably wanted me to go be productive or something, I pulled my goose-duck feather quilts over my head. Oh yeah, this was perfection incarnate. I loved this bed.

A few months ago Amon had come home with the most wonderful gift: an electric self-warming mattress pad. _So you'll stop complaining_, he explained. He turned away to set it up and I stuck my tongue out at his back. It got cold in here, that wasn't my fault.

"Korra, pay attention, I'm going to show you how to use it," Amon said. There was a slight edge to his voice, suggesting he was annoyed or frustrated. I approached him warily. I'd been on the receiving end of Amon's anger enough times by now to know how unpleasant an experience it was. It didn't matter what was upsetting him right now; I was always as good a target as any.

"Okay, show me." Hopping up on the bed, I flashed a tight smile. If Amon noticed my insincerity, he chose to ignore it.

"Look – you just plug it into the wall like this, and then you set the correct temperature, see?" He took my hand and molded my fingers over a small black dial, tugging it through its arc. Warmth began to seep through the sheets, spreading down my legs.

"Got it. Thanks." I tried to take my hand back and he tightened his grip. "Wha – " Amon smirked as I struggled. Then he began to squeeze harder. My fingertips began to turn purple, the nails going pale white. A kind of panic fluttered in my chest; it felt like my lungs were trying to jump out of my chest. "This isn't funny!" I snapped. Amon raised an eyebrow, then suddenly released my hand. I fell back against the bed, my head smacking against a pillow.

"Your spirit is admirable, Korra," he murmured. I made a hum of acknowledgement and he laughed in the arrogant way of his. Like he knew something I didn't, so half the joke was laughing at me. Moving to lie against the pillows, I began to massage the blood back into my wrist. I had lived with this man my entire life – seventeen years – and sometimes it still felt like I didn't know anything about him.

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered as the warmth began to spread over my back. Amon clucked sharply. Sitting down, he grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look at him. Shit. I hated it when he got mad; it usually meant bad news for me. And lately – well, lately bad news had become worse news, and I wasn't so good at enduring these new punishments.

"Show a little gratitude," he grumbled, thumb skipping over my lips. Amon pressed my mouth open and jammed his finger into my mouth. "You're very precious to me, you know." He thumb was pressing against the top of my mouth now, scraping my hard palette.

"I know," I whispered, gagging slightly on his hand. Furrowing his brow, he withdrew his finger and reached up to stroke my hair. I sucked in a breath.

"Enjoy your toy," he said calmly. Slipping his mask on, Amon left, steel-toed boots clicking against the stone floors.

Shuddering at the memory, I screwed my eyes shut. _Just gonna fall back asleep …_

"Korra!"

Or, you know, not.

"Get up, I have something for you." Amon yanked my covers away, exposing me to the chilly morning air. I yelped and curled into a ball. Fuck! _Cold._! So. fucking. _cold_. "Come on, you'll like my present," he coaxed, patting my arm.

That was probably true. I stiffly disentangled myself and got out of bed, heading for my bathroom. Amon laughed and said something about clothes, but I was already shutting the door. Sighing happily, I began running the shower and turned on the floor heating. The green tiles began to warm under my feet. _Bliss_.

Checking the water temperature, I discarded my pajamas and stepped under the water. Sun beat down from the skylight, intensifying the heat. Dipping my head back, I slowly started to relax. This was ruined, however, when I noticed that the water was running down my back a little too perfectly.

"Stop," I hissed, shutting my eyes. I was not a bender. I was _not _a damn bender. Benders were evil; if I was – if I was one of _them _– no. Had to stop thinking about it. It was such a stupid proposal, it wasn't even worth considering. I wasn't evil, and I wasn't a bender. But more importantly, I wasn't evil, so maybe if I was just a little bit of a bender it didn't even really matter anyway. Which was why I had never bothered to share these suspicions with Amon. Of course he would still love me if I did – but it wasn't a big deal, so there was no need to do anything.

Somehow my shower failed to warm me up as much as I'd anticipated, and I still felt cold when I finally went to get dressed.

* * *

"I'm glad to here that the boy woke up this morning, Lieutenant. It was enough trouble getting him; if he had died because of your failure to dose out the correct quantity of knock out solution, I would have been highly displeased," Amon snapped as we walked down the hallway. "Three days was far too long as it was."

"Yes, Amon, I understand. I'm so sorry," the Lieutenant groveled. He then shot a glare at me, bringing the total to six times today. Oh, sure, blame me because _I _was the one Amon decided to get the prisoner for. It wasn't my fault, I didn't ask for it. Tossing my hair, I stepped forward and grabbed Amon's hand, weaving my fingers with his. I tossed a smug grin over my shoulder and laughed when the Lieutenant turned a brilliant shade of purple.

"Korra?" Amon asked sharply.

"I was just remembering that, um, a cat-owl flew into the window the – yesterday. I mean yesterday. No 'the'. Because that's wrong."

Hey, I never claimed to be a good liar.

"That's nice. Now be quiet until I tell you otherwise." Amon unlocked the door to the prisoner's room and we went in. There was a rush of blood to my stomach. I was going to see a bender for the first time. What would he look like? Deformed? Tattooed? How were we going to keep him from attacking us? It was hard to subdue a bender – at least, from what I understood.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I wasn't ready yet. Yeah, I knew how to chi block, but what if I wasn't fast enough? Or strong enough? Amon told me stories of firebenders who roasted their prisoners in terrible flaming walls, earthbenders who buried their enemies alive. I'd heard tales of waterbenders who would fill their victims' lungs with water so their drowning was agonizingly slow. There were even old, old stories of airbenders who when threatened, would force so much air into a body it _exploded_.

"Scared?" the Lieutenant hissed, grinning at me. I threw my shoulders back and pushed past him.

"I'm not afraid of anyone," I hissed back. Stepping into the room, I shut the door then turned around to face the firebender.

He was nothing like I imagined. The boy didn't look like he could be much older than me. He had caramel colored eyes and coal hair that highlighted the pallor of his sunbeam-white skin. Purple-grey bruises marred his face and limbs, evidence of how he'd struggled against us. His hands and feet were encased in heavy jugs of water, preventing him from firebending.

They didn't look too terrible – or at least, not compared to the muzzle. It made him look – I don't even know. He looked like an automaton, like some kind of monster – like he wasn't even human. I didn't understand why it bothered me. He looked like a monster because he _was_ a monster. He looked inhuman because he _wasn't _human. Benders, Amon had taught me, were rabid beasts who understood nothing but senseless destruction.

_He has a name_, some voice in the back of my head chided. _Mako. His name is __**Mako**__. Because he's __**human.**_No – these were lies. Had to shut them out.

"Excellent work, Lieutenant," Amon said, interrupting my thoughts. He slipped a finger under the firebender's muzzle, laughing when he flinched. The Lieutenant relaxed and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. Why was he still here anyway? Wasn't this my project? Looking after the firebender? I glanced at him, and blushed when I realized he was looking back. Oh Spirits, I hoped he didn't think I was flirting or something. I shut my eyes. He couldn't flirt with me now.

That plan failed epically moments later when Amon dismissed Maror and the Lieutenant. Right then. Okay, I could do this. I could totally do this. I bounded over to Amon's desk, flashing a winning smile.

"That took _forever."_

"Patience never has been your strong point, has it Korra?" he grumbled. Fuck. I forced a laugh, wondering if it sounded as fake to him as it did to me. "Tell me then, are you happy with your gift?"

"Yes," I replied. He stood up, coming around the desk so we stood chest to chest. Amon ran a finger down the side of my face, then pushed the bottom of his mask up. My breath quickened as I braced myself. He wrapped his fingers around my neck and forced me into a kiss.

I never understood why people extolled kissing as some kind of wonderful, life-changing experience. Most of the time it just hurt. I could feel the bruises blossoming over my throat and gasped when he threw me against the desk. He yanked my hair, jerking my head back so he could shove his tongue down my throat and bite my lips raw.

_Shh, Korra, just go away now. It will all be okay . . ._

I never knew how it worked, but whenever something bad started happening, I somehow disappeared. I mean, my body was there, but the rest of me wasn't. My vision clouded, and my hearing shut down. All my skin was numb, stone-senseless. No thoughts. No emotions. Barely even breath or blood. I floated up on air, became the undulations of the waves. I cackled into smoke like fire, burst into dust like old earth. Someone whispered, _nothing to fear, nothing to fear, you are safe, honey girl, we will take care of you._

A man with arrows tattooed on his hands and head. _Korra_, he said with terrible tenderness. _Hold on_. Hold on? Hold on to what? _Just hold on, Korra. Trust Mako. _Trust Mako. Yeah, I could do that, maybe. The man with tattoos, undone in a non-memory. I see him and I am him; our skin is one. The soft-soft touches of a brown haired woman who changes before my eyes. She twists and lengthens, eyes morphing from the ocean, to tear-grief blue, to ice, to sky-hope. Hair that flickers white, and hands that open out to me.

It is snowing, and she wraps me in a hug. She says, _Korra, you are the next Avatar. _The scene shifts, my feet shaking under me and I cannot say the where/how/who/what. A brown hand slides over mine and together we twist a puddle into a glowing icicle. A man's peel of delighted laughter booms over my head. And then – and then – and then _hands, _and then _fire_, and then _**screaming**_**. **Someone saying, _no-Korra-my-Korra-not-Korra-please-not-Korra, O!-I-am-begging-you-please-don't-hurt-her._ There is a voice. He says, _hush._ He says

"And Korra, remember your responsibilities." Amon shuts the door, and I am alone in the room with Ma – the firebender.

"Stupid ass," I muttered, trying to shake my head clear. I grabbed his chair from behind the desk and took a seat in front of Mako. He raised an eyebrow as I began to tie my hair up, so I stuck my tongue out at him. _It wasn't real, everything is fine now_, I silently chanted. Memories, hallucinations; whatever went on in my head, it wasn't important and I just had to ignore it. "I had to wait for him to leave, he doesn't like it up," I explained as Mako continued to stare. Damn it, wasn't he going to do something? "Are you prisoners always this boring?"

He began to struggle against the ropes. Oh fuck. I sprung out of my chair in a backflip, years of training running through my head too fast. What chi points subdued firebenders again? Was I fast enough to take this guy down without getting fried to a crisp? "None of those bender tricks! I know what you people are like!"

He had the gall to look annoyed.

Fine. Whatever. I sat back down and gave him my best glare. What was up with this guy anyway? He wasn't a very good prisoner. Did Amon really think so little of my abilities? "Shouldn't you be trying to escape or something?" I blurted out. "Seriously, aren't you going to breathe fire or something? I'm bored." Well played, Korra. Why don't you go find a nice hole to curl up and die in.

"_Argh_," he growled. Interesting. The firebender was actually trying to communicate with me. Maybe if I could get him to talk to me, I could get some information about what the benders were doing. We could infiltrate their government, take them down from the inside. Amon would _never _have an excuse to keep my caged up after that.

"Hey, if I take the muzzle off, will you attack me?" I asked. Mako blinked. Oh. Right. "Yeah, that's probably a dumb question." He probably would attack me. And then Amon would get mad, and I would get yelled at, and I would never be allowed to leave my bedroom, let alone the compound. "Okay. Well, I'm going to take the muzzle off, and if you attack me I'll just tell Amon about it. I mean, I'll attack you myself!" Smooth, Korra.

He stiffened as I came around behind him. I gingerly touched his hair, growing bolder when he didn't flinch away. The knots were really tight; I couldn't imagine it was very comfortable. Actually, I couldn't imagine Mako was very comfortable period. His hair and skin were greasy after so many days without washing, and his clothes were starting to take on a less than pleasant odor. "Hold still, okay? I'm – I'm taking this off. You better not try anything." The threat felt almost mean. He didn't seem so scary. More – pathetic.

I shoved that thought from my mind as the knots finally came undone. Mako gasped, choking on the fresh air as I choked on my own breath. His face was covered in blood. Hands shaking, I looked at the muzzle. Red stains cast ugly flowers against the leather and metal. I quickly discarded it on Amon's desk.

"Thanks," Mako said softly. His cuts cracked, releasing new spurts of blood.

"No problem. You have blood on your face, you know. Was – was that hurting you?" That was a dumb question. Obviously it had been hurting him – he was bleeding. My head throbbed painfully. It occurred to me that he had thanked me for taking the muzzle off. That was so weird. It was nice. Amon didn't even thank me most of the time.

"It's not that bad," Mako said, flushing like he was embarrassed.

"You're not looking at yourself," I mumbled, straddling the back of the chair. "Maror should be back soon, I think. You're probably hungry." Amon had said that he'd slept for three days; if that was really true, it meant he hadn't eaten in three days either. I got angry if I didn't eat three times a day.

"It's fine. It's not like I haven't been hungry before," he spat. _Liar._

"That – that's not true! You're a firebender. They extort people!" I shouted.

"That's the problem with you Equalists! You don't know what you're talking about!" Mako fought his bonds, creating new wounds on his arms. "I bet you've had everything handed to you your entire life, right? Must be nice to be Amon's favorite."

Nice? _Nice?_ A shock of heat pulsed across my skin and my vision went white.

"Shut up!" I screamed. I slapped him across the face. He automatically turned his head away, and I could clearly see the red imprint of my hand on the side of his face. Good. I hoped it hurt a lot. Blood was rushing in my ears, dancing in my palms and swirling in my belly. I began to feel hollow, like something was eating up my organs. Mako was staring at me, eyes flashing.

"Why am I here? I mean – do we know each other?" he demanded. _Focus, Korra. Ground yourself in his voice_. I fingers twitched, grabbing the rescue of his question.

"I know who _you_ are; you're Mako, Captain of the Fire Ferrets and team firebender. I heard you play on the radio." My voice sounded very distant, like it didn't really belong to me. I did not connect the words to my own mouth, rather heard them as though they had come from somebody else.

"I'm glad you're a fan – you know I can't play in the finals if I'm here. I could get you seats for a game, if you want. You could meet my brother." Mako's voice dropped, turning low and sweet. Mention of the game shook me from my body. Game meant the probending arena, and I wasn't allowed to go there.

"I'm not allowed to go outside. That's why you're here. If I can keep you under control, I can go outside," I snapped. I bit my lip, realizing I had said too much. The bruises writhed beneath my teeth.

"So you are going to let me go to play in the finals?" he asked, trying and failing to hide his longing. I felt a flutter of pity and quickly shoved it back down. Nothing good would come of that.

"I don't know," I said, glowering. He thought he controlled things here; he was wrong. "We'll keep you as along as we want, and you have to deal with it!" White light flooded my vision again. I jumped up and began to pace, trying to knock the colors from my head. _Go away go away go away – _

Drawing back my fist, I punched the wall. Flames scorched the wall leaving black blemishes, I could feel in my veins when the water burst its jugs. There was a faint burning smell of Mako's ropes crumping to ashes, but I couldn't tell if they were my flames or his. _Fuck_. I stomped my foot, sending the rocky floor into a crater and a surging gust of wind through the floor.

"You're – " Mako was standing up now, staring at me with wide eyes. He emanated heat and confusion, red-pink lips falling into a frown – or worse, pity. I had to act fast. Clapping a hand over his mouth, I threw him against the wall and pretended not to hear his hiss of pain.

"You will not say _anything_. No one will believe you anyway, you hear?" I said desperately. Amon would be so upset, so disappointed with me. I wouldn't be able to bear it. He was my family, my provider – my world. I searched the firebender's face for understanding. He took advantage of me, spinning us around so I was now pinned under him. My brain floundered, trying figure out how and when this happened.

"Before you start making threats, _Korra_, please explain to me what the Avatar, who's been _lost_ for years as far as anyone is concerned, is doing in Republic City as an ally to _Amon_."

It kind of felt like time stopped for a minute, or at the very least significantly slowed. My lips parted and shut but the words wouldn't come, wouldn't tumble into the world so I could – so I could what, exactly? Explain? What was I even going to say?

"Look, you stay quiet, and I won't tie you up. Deal?" I held my breath, trying to pretend it wasn't the only bargaining chip I had. Mako eyed me warily, his grip tightening slightly. I could feel sweat slither down his palms.

"It still doesn't explain what you're doing here," he persisted, setting his jaw determinedly.

"It's the way things have always been! I've lived here my entire life!" I snapped. _Snow. The white-haired woman _– no, not a memory, Korra. Not real. Notrealnotrealnotreal.

"You don't seem too happy," he said softly. "You know – you have to know – that if Amon succeeds in getting rid of bending, the world will fall out of balance. And bending isn't just something we can do, it's part of who we are," Mako continued. His eyes shone like starshine, making me sick to my stomach.

"You're wrong," I shot back. "Bending is a disease. And I'm sick." Sick and bad and wrong and _poison_.

"Could you give it a chance? Even a little bit of one?" Mako asked. My heart began to pound almost painfully. The beats were so hard I wondered if my ribs would shatter under the force. "What if I taught you some firebending? Then you would really know what it's like." He was the picture-perfect of earnestness and sincerity, with not a little desperation. I knew, I _knew _that I should say no. That this was a bender trick, that this was the thing Amon had warned me about my entire life. But I wavered, uncertain. I wavered because I was weak.

"Get your filthy hands off me." I shoved the firebender away and stormed out of the room, slamming the door hard. Maror was coming up the hallway and he paused when he saw me leaning against the door panting.

"Korra?" he asked cautiously. I shook my head.

"Everything is fine. I let the prisoner out of his bonds, just leave him like that," I ordered. Then I fled to my room like the child I was.

Amon loved me. I knew that. He raised me, he loved me, he was the one to stroke my hair and kiss my lips and sometimes even lay in bed with me at night. We were going to conquer the world together, as it was always meant to be. None of that explained why I was sitting in my room with my knees curled to my nose and one hand pressed against the glass of a window as tears leaked down my face.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Yay! I'm so happy to have this chapter up so quickly - and it's a long one too! For anyone wondering about the POV shifts, basically there are no rules about POV shifts, except that there will never be one within a chapter (i.e., if the chapter starts in Korra's POV, the entire chapter will be her POV). I'm probably going to stick with Mako, Korra, Bolin and Jinora's POVs, with a possibility maybe doing some Iroh and Asami as well.

As always, thanks for reading, and please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"General Iroh, Miss Sato, I present Jinora and Bolin, children of Councilman Tenzin," the butler announced. He bowed gratuitously, sweeping an arm through the air towards us. Bolin lit up; I barely suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. _Subtle as Tarrlok_, I groused. Spirits, I couldn't stand their type – the type that fawned over the most important person in the room and sneered at everyone else. Disgusting. I took a delicate step away from the butler.

"Welcome," Miss Sato said. Her red lipstick was as glossy as her teacups. She wore her long dark curls down around her slender shoulders. Gold serpent earrings hung from her ears and the serpents' emerald eyes glittered when she moved her head.

She set her teacup down and offered us a smile. Bolin returned it easily; I didn't. My lips felt stiff as rusted gears, my expression as unnatural as an earthbender on ice. I understood that the General and Miss Sato had busy schedules, but the fact that it had taken a week to get a meeting with them was making it hard for me to remain polite. _My brother is missing_, I wanted to scream. _Don't you get that? He might be dead by now because you couldn't grant us a stupid meeting_.

"Thanks, you're dismissed," Miss Sato said, flicking her delicate wrist. Her nails were painted a deep ruby red. She motioned for us to sit as the butler shut the big white doors. Miss Sato herself was sitting on red velvet couch, while the General sat across from her in a leather armchair. Between the two was a mahogany table edged with gold. On top of the table was a white porcelain tea set and plates with finger sandwiches and bite-size desserts. I saw Bolin eyeing them and stepped on his foot.

"Thank you for having us," he said, taking a seat in a chair next to Miss Sato. I took the one across from him. Bolin had his back to the doors, but I had a perfect view.

"Not at all, it's a pleasure to have you," Miss Sato said. She began to pour the tea. "I've actually been looking forward to this meeting. I mean, what could I do for the Council?" she laughed. The General frowned.

"Yes, I was wondering what your business might be." His voice was low and cold and not terribly friendly. Bolin tried to catch my eye but I ignored him, instead focusing on the General. His yellow eyes were haughty, hissing _challenge _and _royalty_. I held his gaze, expression neutral, until he finally looked away. The history of the Air Nomads is one of peace. They did not seek to cut down their enemies, but to understand them, to be patient and thoughtful.

I was an airbender and the daughter of an airbender. But I was also a waterbender's granddaughter. Water was the volatile element – a calm ocean could quickly crescendo to a storm. People forgot about air because it was always right _there_, so harmless and plentiful. They remembered rain when they thought of tornadoes and hurricanes, they forgot _racing winds _that _blew you away_. I was Katara's granddaughter; I didn't have a problem reminding them. If the General was trying to intimidate me, to bad for him; I might not throw the first punch, but I never held back either.

"Yeah, um, okay," Bolin muttered, squeaking a nervous laugh. "The Police Chief – Lin Beifong – is a friend of the family's. She said that you and the General, Miss Sato, might be able to help us find our brother, Mako." He swallowed and I saw his fingers twitch as he fought the urge to curl his hands into fists.

"Asami, please. And Iroh," Asami said. "I'm familiar with the Chief. What did she think we could do?"

"She said you've infiltrated the Equalist Movement. True or not?" I asked. Asami's eyes widened, surprised by my outburst. "Let's just stop with the games and put our cards on the table, okay? Bolin and I are here to get our brother. Either you're going to help us or you're not, but let's cut to the chase." I folded my hands in my lap, suddenly worried that I'd pushed too hard. Asami was staring at me with her red lips parted. She looked like a short-circuiting radio.

"Give her a break. It's not something we've been trying to advertise," Iroh said. There was a hard protectiveness to his voice, but at the same time he was softer now, sympathetic. "There are – there are a lot of things to consider." Iroh crossed his arms and exchanged a look with Asami.

"Like what?" Bolin countered. "This is my brother. Our parents died when we were kids – he was eight years old, I was six. Mako always took care of me. He always made sure I had food and someplace to sleep. I don't know what he had to do to make that happen, but I do know that he must have worked really hard and sacrificed a lot. He could have abandoned me, he could have joined a gang, he could have just not let me have the thicker slice of bread – but he did. I owe him this, you have to understand," Bolin said desperately. He was leaning forward, hands out and open in a beggar's plea. I had never heard him talk much about those days; I wasn't even sure he remembered it.

I tried to imagine winter nights in the city. Maybe in the park, if there was (most likely) nowhere else to go. Meelo would cry. He was afraid of the dark even now. When he was little it was worse. He would wake up, terrified, almost every night. Meelo fled to our parents' room, insistently curling up between them, refusing to move even an inch and howling if someone tried to force him. When had he gotten over that anyway? It seemed like such a long time ago now –

Oh. When Mako came. When he lit up his palms with yellow-red fire and shattered the dark with flames so bright they outshone Sozin's Comet. Was Mako in a dark room now, with only fire for company? Was he cold? Hungry? Unharmed?

"Please," I whispered. Asami's face crumbled as easily and carelessly as sandstone.

"We've spent months getting them to trust us." She said it like she wasn't sure yet if she was telling us yes or no. "And you're both benders. You would be in a lot of danger," she pointed out.

"Our choice," Bolin said. Asami opened her mouth but Iroh spoke first.

"We'll help you get your brother back."

"You will?" Bolin's face lit up like the sunrise at Winter Solstice. Springing from his seat he threw his arms around the General, laughing and smiling so hard it looked painful. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" He squeezed Iroh harder, making Asami laugh.

"Yeah. You're welcome," the General managed. Bolin let go, blushing slightly. When he stepped away I saw that Asami's lips were slightly her parted. It made her sharp cheekbones thrust against her flesh like the spikes of a wrough-iron gate. Iroh brushed his shoulders and Asami shut her mouth with a delicate click.

"You're going to need some training," Asami warned, standing up. She put her hands on her hips and tossed her glossy dark hair. "Jinora, you come with me. Bolin, you'll go with Iroh. We'll get changed and then meet back here in half an hour," she ordered. Asami headed for the door, the stiletto heels of her dragon skin boots clicking at the floor.

"There's a lot you need to know if you want to survive with your bending intact," Iroh added. Something cold flashed in my lungs; it felt like suffocating.

"So the rumors are true," I whispered. That changed things. I took a deep breath, trying to soothe the prickly anxiety going off like fireworks in my stomach. For a moment, I thought I might throw up all over Asami's expensive floors.

"Are you saying Jinora can't come?" Bolin choked. His surprise made me want to give him the last cookie for the rest of our lives. It also made me question his intelligence or at least his attention to detail. Of course I couldn't come; not when the air bender population was still so vulnerable.

"What? No! _No_." Asami gripped my shoulder, her red fingernails digging in hard. If looks could kill, Iroh would have been enjoying a patented FutureIndustries™ disemboweling. He winced and Bolin muttered something about probending and Mako and burns. "Of course Jinora is coming - as long as she can hold her own," she said firmly.

"I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything," Iroh stuttered. Bolin's shoulders sagged with relief. When he smiled, though, I could see how worry still clouded his eyes.

"So when do we start training?" he asked, bouncing on his toes. "Not that I need it after all that probending. Don't worry Nora, I'll go easy on you," he teased. Bolin threw a jab and I quickly blocked it so his fist merely grazed my arm. I brought my leg around in a roundhouse kick and Bolin jumped back, stumbling against Iroh. They fell down in an unceremonious heap and I laughed. I didn't notice Asami behind me until her arm was hooked around my throat.

"Lesson One: never turn your back on the enemy," she said. With a jerk of my head I summoned a breeze that knocked her off her feet. Asami grunted and I rubbed my neck, trying to forget the weight of her bones against my windpipe.

"How about Lesson Two: don't underestimate your enemy?" I returned. She pressed her hair behind her ears and shook her head.

"I think we're going to get along just fine," she laughed. Iroh snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, if they don't kill each other first," he muttered.

* * *

Here is the history of the Air Nomads:

The Air Nomads were always a peaceful people, a deeply spiritual people. They were not men and women but _monks _and _nuns_. In all the other nations – the Fire Nation, the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom – non-benders and benders were all mixed up together. The Air Nomads, however, were only airbenders. Maybe it was just the product of being raised in Republic City, but I couldn't imagine growing up so _… isolated_.

Of course, the Air Nomads had liked the isolation; it was their main defense, actually. The other three nations warred with each other, but for hundreds of years the Air Nomads were safe behind tall mountains, far away from bloody fields and soldiers. The scent of funeral pyre smoke, the ballads of young man gone; they were unknown by the time the Fire Nation set foot in the mountains. It's true what they say: fly too close to the sun and your wings will melt.

Bolin and I returned to Air Temple Island for dinner. Asami's driver dropped us off at the harbor with two first-class tickets and fruit basket for our parents. We'd said our goodbyes at the house. Asami pressed kisses to both our cheeks; Bolin's face turned so red you couldn't see her lipstick against his skin. Iroh in true General form opted to shake hands. I noticed that he lingered with Bolin. Iroh's golden eyes spun and danced like lightning, whispering of _intrigue _and _curiosity. _They broke apart when I cleared my throat.

"Man, what a day," Bolin sighed as we took our seats in our private room. A server came by to press flutes of champagne into our hands before disappearing down the hall. I closed the door and twisted the lock behind him.

"Seriously," I agreed. I sipped my champagne and the bubbles popped sharply across my tongue. I made a face and Bolin laughed at me.

"You're not much of a drinker, Jinora," he chastised. I rolled my eyes. The boat lurched forward, clumsily starting towards the island.

"What is that supposed to mean, exactly?" I threw back the rest of the drink. Bolin gasped. My eyes watered as I forced myself not to cough. Okay, so maybe chugging the thing hadn't been my best idea ever. No reason for him to know that.

"That's not how you're supposed to drink that."

"Don't change the subject!" I grabbed a cup of water and drank deeply. Bolin furrowed his brows. The cup's brown glass made his head bulge and his neck attenuate. I giggled and he gave me a look like I'd just ordered him to get a new team name. "What?"

"You are _not _allowed to be drunk! Do you hear me? Not allowed!" He waved his arms around for emphasis. Oh Spirits, was that supposed to make a difference?

"I'm not drunk! Just tell me," I whined. He rolled his eyes so I kicked his shin.

"Hey! Girls," Bolin grumbled. "Look, it's nothing bad, just that usually you, you know, sit around and read books or whatever. Champagne is pretty mild for you to make a face like that," he told me. My face flushed and suddenly the room felt too small and too hot. "To be honest, I hadn't expected you to join me for this. Not that I'm not glad you came!" he added hastily. I slumped down in my seat, letting my hair fall over my face.

He wasn't wrong. I'd spent most of my life reading about adventures instead of having them. When I was little and eavesdropping I used to hear stories about Mako and Bolin's lives on the street – or worse, the lives they could have had. They words _disease _and _prostitute _and _hypothermia _sullied the air like mold growing on itself. Each word sparked a thousand miserable possibilities, a thousand fates-worse-than-death.

I liked to read because I liked the idea of an-adventure-but-not. I could be a princess, a knight, a dragon without ever leaving my favorite chair by the fireplace. In stories the bad guys got their comeuppance and the heroes and heroines were rewarded for their great deeds. I imagined that my grandfather's life must have been something like that; that he and his friends had spun a great epic while flying around the world. My grandmother always laughed when I said things like that, replying _it was hardly so glamorous. _It was never about the glamour, though. It was about the courage – their willingness to sacrifice themselves to the cause.

Bolin wouldn't be able to understand. If he died, we would be sad but it probably wouldn't impact the world. If I died – well, if I died I was killing off twenty-five percent of the current airbender population. That wouldn't be "progress", exactly, in terms of rebuilding the airbender population. I could only imagine what my father might say. Now that Mako had been kidnapped, though, things were different.

"I mean, yeah, I haven't always been the first one to battle, but – I want to help. I really do," I whispered. Bolin put a hand on my shoulder and I bit my lip.

"Trust me, I know how you feel." He pulled me into a hug, and after we broke apart we were silent the rest of the way home. When we landed on the island Bolin went to get dinner; I went to the library.

"Where are the old airbending scrolls?" I asked one of the acolytes. He gestured to series of shelves on the far left. Rolling my shoulders back, I headed over. The shelves smelled like mold and knowledge. They seemed to cackle as I got closer, like they had a secret and loved that I didn't know it. Breathing deeply, I pulled out the old scroll. The velum was so thin I thought it might disintegrate in my fingers. My throat grew dry as my eyes flickered over the text: _Advanced Airbending: Offensive Forms (War Forms)_.

The first image showed a man writhing on the ground, a young female airbender floating above him. Her brows were knit in concentration, her hands steady and tense. The man's mouth was open in a scream and the ground was crimson with his blood. A thousand whipping breezes tore him open, skinning him alive. The woman did not enjoy her task, but her steely eyes revealed her loyalty and determination. Once-upon-a-time, it meant something to cross the Air Nomads.

I put the scroll aside and stretched out one arm, palm flat and facing up. Hovering the opposite hand over it, I formed an air disc. For a moment, I could only watch it spin. My hands shook, sending ripples through the disc. _This is probably a terrible idea_. I released the disc and watched it slice a chair in half.

Well then. The good news was that the scroll worked … ?

This didn't stop me from bursting into tears. I collapsed to my knees and sat shaking against the bookcase, trembling like a leaf in the wind. Sobs wracked my torso but I made no sound, just gasped and hiccupped. A shadow graced my feet and I knew who it was before she sat down.

"I thought I might find you here," my sister said softly. She put her arm around my shoulders and pressed my face into her chest. Ikki rubbed my back and made soothing nonsense noises as I cried

"I feel like I'm six," I murmured.

"You are six!" she joked, imitating our father insisted gruffly. "No boys, no Equalists, and eight o'clock is bedtime!" Grinning, Ikki dug her fingers into my stomach and began tickling me. I squealed and tried to roll away but she clung on until my face was red and I couldn't breathe. Ikki was giggling when she finally let me go, her eyes dancing with satisfaction. "Feeling better now?" she asked. I nuzzled her shoulder. My sweet baby sister.

"Maybe," I ventured. I pulled my knees into my chest. "It's just – Spirits, Ikki, it's so much _pressure_! But how can I even say that when grandpa risked so much more? What if I mess up?" I dropped my gaze, unable to meet her eye. "Am I perverting airbending?" I whispered. Ikki threw her arms around me.

"No! No," she insisted, squeezing me tighter. "This is what you're supposed to be doing. Bringing Mako home." She pressed our foreheads together and gripped my hands. "Jinna, you have to bring our brother home." Ikki swallowed tightly and I pretended not to notice when she started to cry.


End file.
